The Scotsman ~ Bryan Bowers & Seamus O'Kennedy

The Scotsman

Lyrics & Music: Bryan Bowers
Last 2 verses by Seamus O'Kennedy

A Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

Now around that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one said to the other with a twinkle in her eye.
"See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt."

They crept up on the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be,
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
T'was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
T’was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment then one said "We must be gone.
Lets leave a present for our friend before we move along.
"For a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
Around the bonny star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled for the trees.
And behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he cries to what's before his eyes
"Ach, lad I don't know where ya' been, but I see ya' won first prize!"
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
"Ach, lad I don't know where ya' been, but I see ya' won first prize!"

Our Scottish friend, still clad in kilt continued down the street.
And he hadn't gone a mile before a girl he chanced to meet
She said "I heard what's under there, tell me is it so?"
He said "Just slip your hand up miss if you'd really like to know."
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
He said "Just slip your hand up miss if you'd really like to know."

She slipped her hand up under his kilt and much to her surprise
The Scotsman smiled and a very strange look came into his eyes.
She said "Oh, Sir, that's gruesome!" and then she heard him roar
"If you slip your hand up once again you'll find it's grew some more!"
Ring ding diddle iddle i dee o, ring di diddle di o
"If you slip your hand up once again you'll find it grew some more!

Thank you David for singing this to us >.<