The Apprentice's Lament~ Master Hector of the Black Height

The Apprentice's Lament
Master Hector of the Black Height

I served me a Laurel for many a year,
I carded much wool and I brewed skunky beer
But now there’s my Peer lying dead on the floor
And I never shall be an apprentice no more.

CHORUS:

And it’s no, nay, never (cite me a source!),
No, nay, never, no more shall I be an apprentice,
No never, no more.


My Laurel took me to a special event;
My last two years’ projects to judging were sent.
They asked me for documents, I told them nay,
“I’ve not tried to research since my high school days.”
And it’s no, nay, never…


I pulled out thick binders with copies to spare;
I showed them my primary source for yak hair.
I answered their questions with footnotes galore,
I boggled their minds and left jaws on the floor.
And it’s no, nay, never…


I won the Queen’s praises and took the first prize,
My Laurel said “WHAT?” and dropped dead from surprise.
So now I am free, with no Peer to inspire:
I hate to wash cars so I can’t be a squire
And it’s no, nay, never (cite me a source!),
No, nay, never, no more shall I be an apprentice,
No never, no more.

To the Tune The Wild Rover!