The Celt Came Back

The Celt came Back
Anonymous
Tune: The Cat came Back


Now one old King had troubles of his own,
He had a thick-skinned Bard that wouldn’t leave his home
He tried and he tried to send that Bard away
He sold him to a Dane going far, far away…

(Chorus)

But the Celt came back, the very next day
The Celt came back; they thought he was a goner
But the Celt came back, he just wouldn’t stay away!


The local Baron said that he would shoot that Celt on sight
So he loaded up his cannon with powder to the sight
He waited and he waited for that Bard to come around,
Itty-bitty pieces of the castle’s all they found…

He gave him to a Visigoth going out East
Saying “Sell him to the Mongols; feed him to a Beast!”
They got up to the channel, and they thought they’d get across
Tomorrow they’ll write off the ‘Goth as bein’ a total loss…






He gave him to a serf with a ten-shilling note
Take him out on the lake, take him on a boat!
They tied a rock around his neck; it must have weighed 10 stone
And now they drag the shoreline,  ‘cause the boat came back alone…

The sent him to the Borgia’s to have a little feast
Kill him off with poisoned wine, use cyanide at least
He drank several barrels of the poisoned wine that day
And now the Borgias have all…passed away….

He gave him to a Knight, to use him for a pell
Saying “Beat him smartly, I wanna hear him yell!”
The knight armored up, and sharpened up his sword
No one’s ever hear again of that Knightly lord…

*They gave him to a Pelican, to work him to the bone
Make him wash the dishes, never to come home
She chained him to the kitchen sink,  stacked him up real mean
The Pelican was ne’er seen again, but at least…the kitchen’s clean…

*He gave him to a Laurel, apprentice for to be
Teach him silent arts like Norse Calligraphy
Teaching him to read & write, she made her last mistake
Printing up his music was more than they could take….