The Old Dun Cow - heard around the campfire

The Old Dun Cow.     Lyrics as I remember them (my alterations).

Some friends of mine in the public house were playing dominoes one night.
When into the room the barman came; his face was chalky white.
"What's up?" says Brown. "Have you seen a ghost? Have you seen me Aunt Maria?"
"Oh your Aunt Maria be buggered" says he.  "Sure me whole bloody pub's on fire!"    (Aunt Maria to blazes)

"Fire", says Brown, "What a bit of luck.  Everybody follow me.
"It's down to the cellar if the fire's not there; we'll have a grand old spree."
So we all went down after good old Brown, down where the booze was free.
And we hadn't been five minutes there 'til we were drunk and disorderly.

Chorus:

And there was Brown, upside down, lapping up the whiskey on the floor.
"Booze! Booze!" the firemen cried as they came knocking on the door.
Ah don't let 'em in 'til it's all locked up.  Someone shouted "MacIntyre!"
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk when The Old Dun Cow caught fire.

Smith went over to the port wine tub and gave it a few hard knocks.
Started taking off his pantaloons likewise his shoes and socks.
"Hold on!" says Brown; "That ain't allowed.  You can't do that in here.
"Don't go washing your trotters in the port wine tub when there's plenty of that old stale beer."   (plenty of that Kokanee beer)

Chorus

Up from above came an awful crash.  Half the bloody roof gave way.
We were almost drowned by the fireman's hose but we were feeling gay.
So we got some sacks and some old tin-tacks and we nailed ourselves inside.
And we sat there drinking pints of ale until we were bleary-eyed.

Last chorus.